Living life independently by your own terms? Then why are you depressed?
A good read from Dr. Robert Malone. Of course, we should take the good and leave out the un-Islamic concepts, but another wake up call from the liberal mindset that tries to fight the human fitra, the natural human disposition.
Some of my favorite parts:
There was a feminism that told women they should have choices. Then there is the more modern version of feminism that increasingly seems to tell women which choices an enlightened woman is supposed to make. Career is achievement. Marriage is dependence. Motherhood is unpaid labor. Men are potential oppressors. Traditional families are suspect. Finances should always be kept separate, plan for a divorce, financial independence is a must. Independence is liberation, and needing another human being is somehow weakness. Delay marriage. Delay children. Establish the career. Find yourself. Become independent. Never settle. Put yourself first.
There is just one rather awkward problem with this prescription for female happiness: human beings are profoundly social animals, and the scientific literature keeps rediscovering the importance of precisely the relationships that modern culture has spent decades teaching women not to need. […]
Women show stronger tendencies toward caregiving, empathy, and relational investment, although there is enormous individual variation. Biology is not destiny, but neither is it imaginary. To dismiss these deeply rooted female tendencies as merely products of the patriarchy, or to teach women that caring for and depending upon others is somehow incompatible with independence, comes at a real psychological cost, and we are witnessing this worldwide. A feminism that requires women to deny important parts of their own biology is a strange definition of female liberation.
The female impulse toward attachment, relationship and nurturing cannot simply be dismissed as a patriarchal social construct. There is biology underneath it. A culture that tells women that caring for others is servitude, that motherhood is an impediment to achievement, and that putting another human being ahead of oneself represents oppression may therefore be fighting something considerably older than the patriarchy. It may be fighting female biology itself. […]
And perhaps most poisonous of all is the idea that relations between men and women should be understood primarily as a contest for power. Teach a generation of women to approach half of humanity with suspicion, to interpret ordinary disagreement through the language of oppression, and to view compromise as surrender, and then act surprised when relationships become difficult. Whatever one chooses to call that worldview, it is a miserable foundation upon which to build intimacy.
Girls do not generally sit through a classroom lesson entitled Marriage Is Bad. The message is subtler than that. From school through college, the language surrounding female success increasingly emphasizes independence, autonomy, empowerment, career, individual rights and self-realization. What is striking is what receives far less emphasis: interdependence, marriage, sacrifice, obligation, motherhood, building a household, choosing a good husband and creating a stable family.
Dependence itself has acquired an almost pathological meaning, as though needing a husband, wife, children or extended family represents personal failure rather than the normal condition of human beings. A girl is repeatedly asked what career she wants when she grows up. How often is she asked what kind of marriage she hopes to build, what kind of mother she hopes to become, or what sacrifices a lasting relationship will require? The lesson does not have to be written on the blackboard to be learned: success is something you achieve individually; family is something you fit around it later, and you would be stupid not to be financially independent before having children, cause men generally aren't to be trusted to hang around long enough to raise a family. […]
And then there is the part nobody is supposed to mention: this arrangement is extraordinarily good for industry. The intact family is an economic institution as well as a social one. Husbands and wives share labor. Grandparents care for grandchildren. Families cook meals, repair things, care for the sick and elderly, grow food, teach children, share houses, lend money, pass down skills and provide an enormous amount of economic activity that never appears on a corporate balance sheet. Break those bonds apart and suddenly nearly everything has to be purchased. Two adults maintaining two households need two rents or mortgages, two sets of utilities, two kitchens and twice the household goods.
Put both parents into full-time employment and families purchase more childcare, prepared food, transportation and other substitutes for work once performed within the home. Send rural children hundreds of miles away to college and then into metropolitan corporate employment, and another generation is separated from grandparents, land, community, and the informal economy of extended family. None of this requires a conspiracy. It requires only incentives. And corporations benefit enormously from this arrangement.
Corporations benefit when people become workers first, consumers second, and family members somewhere farther down the list. The Big Lie was convincing women (and men) that exchanging dependence upon people who loved them for dependence upon employers, banks, universities, childcare companies, and the consumer economy was somehow independence. The destruction of family and community did not make people independent. It merely changed whom they depended upon, and unlike a family, the corporation collected the dividends. […]
For decades, young people, and young women in particular, have been sold a remarkably destructive definition of success. Leave home. Go deeply into debt for college. Build the career. Delay marriage. Delay children. Treat dependence upon another person as weakness. Treat compromise as surrender. Regard traditional institutions with suspicion. Learn to identify grievances. Put yourself first. And when the loneliness, anxiety, purposelessness and unhappiness arrive, there is an enormous medical industry waiting to provide the diagnosis and, frequently, the prescription.
Then we marvel at the epidemic of mental illness. […]
We were told that liberation meant needing fewer people, carrying fewer obligations and being free to put ourselves first.
Instead, we became more dependent upon employers, corporations, universities, government programs, therapists, pharmaceutical companies and the marketplace to provide things that families and communities once provided for one another.
And now 1.17 billion people are estimated to be living with a mental disorder.
Perhaps the strangest response imaginable is to look at that number and conclude that the problem is simply that humanity needs more mental-health treatment.
Maybe people need more life.
More family. More marriage. More children. More friendship. More community. More responsibility. More people depending upon them, and more people upon whom they can depend.
That isn't oppression.
It is called being human.
When the white man says it, the reaction from the Muslims is usually, “Wow, you’re right. I never thought of it like that before.”
When you say similar things during a khutbah, it’s always, “Brother, please don’t talk about these things. The women will get offended.”
A good read from Dr. Robert Malone. Of course, we should take the good and leave out the un-Islamic concepts, but another wake up call from the liberal mindset that tries to fight the human fitra, the natural human disposition.
Some of my favorite parts:
There was a feminism that told women they should have choices. Then there is the more modern version of feminism that increasingly seems to tell women which choices an enlightened woman is supposed to make. Career is achievement. Marriage is dependence. Motherhood is unpaid labor. Men are potential oppressors. Traditional families are suspect. Finances should always be kept separate, plan for a divorce, financial independence is a must. Independence is liberation, and needing another human being is somehow weakness. Delay marriage. Delay children. Establish the career. Find yourself. Become independent. Never settle. Put yourself first.
There is just one rather awkward problem with this prescription for female happiness: human beings are profoundly social animals, and the scientific literature keeps rediscovering the importance of precisely the relationships that modern culture has spent decades teaching women not to need. […]
Women show stronger tendencies toward caregiving, empathy, and relational investment, although there is enormous individual variation. Biology is not destiny, but neither is it imaginary. To dismiss these deeply rooted female tendencies as merely products of the patriarchy, or to teach women that caring for and depending upon others is somehow incompatible with independence, comes at a real psychological cost, and we are witnessing this worldwide. A feminism that requires women to deny important parts of their own biology is a strange definition of female liberation.
The female impulse toward attachment, relationship and nurturing cannot simply be dismissed as a patriarchal social construct. There is biology underneath it. A culture that tells women that caring for others is servitude, that motherhood is an impediment to achievement, and that putting another human being ahead of oneself represents oppression may therefore be fighting something considerably older than the patriarchy. It may be fighting female biology itself. […]
And perhaps most poisonous of all is the idea that relations between men and women should be understood primarily as a contest for power. Teach a generation of women to approach half of humanity with suspicion, to interpret ordinary disagreement through the language of oppression, and to view compromise as surrender, and then act surprised when relationships become difficult. Whatever one chooses to call that worldview, it is a miserable foundation upon which to build intimacy.
Girls do not generally sit through a classroom lesson entitled Marriage Is Bad. The message is subtler than that. From school through college, the language surrounding female success increasingly emphasizes independence, autonomy, empowerment, career, individual rights and self-realization. What is striking is what receives far less emphasis: interdependence, marriage, sacrifice, obligation, motherhood, building a household, choosing a good husband and creating a stable family.
Dependence itself has acquired an almost pathological meaning, as though needing a husband, wife, children or extended family represents personal failure rather than the normal condition of human beings. A girl is repeatedly asked what career she wants when she grows up. How often is she asked what kind of marriage she hopes to build, what kind of mother she hopes to become, or what sacrifices a lasting relationship will require? The lesson does not have to be written on the blackboard to be learned: success is something you achieve individually; family is something you fit around it later, and you would be stupid not to be financially independent before having children, cause men generally aren't to be trusted to hang around long enough to raise a family. […]
And then there is the part nobody is supposed to mention: this arrangement is extraordinarily good for industry. The intact family is an economic institution as well as a social one. Husbands and wives share labor. Grandparents care for grandchildren. Families cook meals, repair things, care for the sick and elderly, grow food, teach children, share houses, lend money, pass down skills and provide an enormous amount of economic activity that never appears on a corporate balance sheet. Break those bonds apart and suddenly nearly everything has to be purchased. Two adults maintaining two households need two rents or mortgages, two sets of utilities, two kitchens and twice the household goods.
Put both parents into full-time employment and families purchase more childcare, prepared food, transportation and other substitutes for work once performed within the home. Send rural children hundreds of miles away to college and then into metropolitan corporate employment, and another generation is separated from grandparents, land, community, and the informal economy of extended family. None of this requires a conspiracy. It requires only incentives. And corporations benefit enormously from this arrangement.
Corporations benefit when people become workers first, consumers second, and family members somewhere farther down the list. The Big Lie was convincing women (and men) that exchanging dependence upon people who loved them for dependence upon employers, banks, universities, childcare companies, and the consumer economy was somehow independence. The destruction of family and community did not make people independent. It merely changed whom they depended upon, and unlike a family, the corporation collected the dividends. […]
For decades, young people, and young women in particular, have been sold a remarkably destructive definition of success. Leave home. Go deeply into debt for college. Build the career. Delay marriage. Delay children. Treat dependence upon another person as weakness. Treat compromise as surrender. Regard traditional institutions with suspicion. Learn to identify grievances. Put yourself first. And when the loneliness, anxiety, purposelessness and unhappiness arrive, there is an enormous medical industry waiting to provide the diagnosis and, frequently, the prescription.
Then we marvel at the epidemic of mental illness. […]
We were told that liberation meant needing fewer people, carrying fewer obligations and being free to put ourselves first.
Instead, we became more dependent upon employers, corporations, universities, government programs, therapists, pharmaceutical companies and the marketplace to provide things that families and communities once provided for one another.
And now 1.17 billion people are estimated to be living with a mental disorder.
Perhaps the strangest response imaginable is to look at that number and conclude that the problem is simply that humanity needs more mental-health treatment.
Maybe people need more life.
More family. More marriage. More children. More friendship. More community. More responsibility. More people depending upon them, and more people upon whom they can depend.
That isn't oppression.
It is called being human.
When the white man says it, the reaction from the Muslims is usually, “Wow, you’re right. I never thought of it like that before.”
When you say similar things during a khutbah, it’s always, “Brother, please don’t talk about these things. The women will get offended.”
Grandparents are becoming extinct.
If the average woman has children starting at 35 and passes on those feminist ideas to her children, by the time she’s a grandmother, she will be at least 70 years old, and grandpa might already be dead. If women have kids early in their early 20s and pass those proper values downstream, they can be grandparents at the age of 45-50 instead of 70. A huge difference that allows you to help your children when they become parents, and also allows you as a grandparent to play with your grand children. It’s literally a win-win scenario for all parties involved:
Grandparents - they get to help their children with the grandkids, further cementing the ties between the three generations. They can teach their grandkids about Islam and even tell them stories from their past and pass down real history. Grandkids can also help them as they age with common tasks.
Parents - can ask grandparents for advice and wisdom, can benefit from home cooked meals being outsourced to the grandparents when needed, along with free babysitting.
Let me repeat - free food and babysitting.
Grandchildren - get to interact with 2 generations of loving family that can teach, play, advise, and overall bond with them. Unlimited food, treats, and love.
Contrast that again with the modernist perspective, where you have maybe 1-2 kids in your early 40s, and by the time they have kids, you have one foot in the grave and your children have to decide whether to help you or not. They’re too busy with their own newborn children, and now mom and dad are also old and need help? Of course if they are brought up with an Islamic paradigm, they should help, but will they? Why would they all of a sudden be super faithful and take you in when they have been fed liberalism and freedom the last 40 years?
Be gone old woman!
If the average woman has children starting at 35 and passes on those feminist ideas to her children, by the time she’s a grandmother, she will be at least 70 years old, and grandpa might already be dead. If women have kids early in their early 20s and pass those proper values downstream, they can be grandparents at the age of 45-50 instead of 70. A huge difference that allows you to help your children when they become parents, and also allows you as a grandparent to play with your grand children. It’s literally a win-win scenario for all parties involved:
Grandparents - they get to help their children with the grandkids, further cementing the ties between the three generations. They can teach their grandkids about Islam and even tell them stories from their past and pass down real history. Grandkids can also help them as they age with common tasks.
Parents - can ask grandparents for advice and wisdom, can benefit from home cooked meals being outsourced to the grandparents when needed, along with free babysitting.
Let me repeat - free food and babysitting.
Grandchildren - get to interact with 2 generations of loving family that can teach, play, advise, and overall bond with them. Unlimited food, treats, and love.
Contrast that again with the modernist perspective, where you have maybe 1-2 kids in your early 40s, and by the time they have kids, you have one foot in the grave and your children have to decide whether to help you or not. They’re too busy with their own newborn children, and now mom and dad are also old and need help? Of course if they are brought up with an Islamic paradigm, they should help, but will they? Why would they all of a sudden be super faithful and take you in when they have been fed liberalism and freedom the last 40 years?
Be gone old woman!
Early stress in life can lead to depression, among other health issues.
From a Pharmacy Continuing Education resource discussing the link between diabetes and depression:
Early-life stress can result in persistent neuroendocrine, physiologic, behavioral, and psychologic changes that negatively affect the development of brain systems involved in learning, motivation, and stress response, and that may also reflect a biologic priming for the development of depression, especially with additional stress exposure.
One of the most common and persistent early life stressors that’s considered the status quo these days - daycare for babies. Even the most liberal Muslim scholar I can think of called this institution a prison.
During the first 3 years of life, the brain of a child is developing at a pace that is unfathomable during the first 3 years, with 1 million new neural connections each second and with nearly 1,000 trillion connections by age 3.
Yes, you read that correctly.
They need a minimally stressful environment in order to gain the functionality and cognitive ability to deal with real stress when they get older. Having that proper brain development with the mother as the nurturer, the comforter, the provider of nutrition, the soother, and overall calmness, and of so many other benefits, automatically lead to children becoming more confident and testing boundaries as they get older. For some reason however, we have been duped into trying to accelerate the independent and confidence boosting stage in kids right at 6 weeks from birth, causing the exact opposite effect.
Your child needs pampering, before your child becomes a hero.
Your child needs to be babied, before your child becomes a mentor.
Your child needs comfort, before your child gains confidence.
Your child needs to feel their mother’s touch and presence, before your child can help others.
Remember this - Trying to turn your child into an adult early on, will make them a child as an adult later on.
From a Pharmacy Continuing Education resource discussing the link between diabetes and depression:
Early-life stress can result in persistent neuroendocrine, physiologic, behavioral, and psychologic changes that negatively affect the development of brain systems involved in learning, motivation, and stress response, and that may also reflect a biologic priming for the development of depression, especially with additional stress exposure.
One of the most common and persistent early life stressors that’s considered the status quo these days - daycare for babies. Even the most liberal Muslim scholar I can think of called this institution a prison.
During the first 3 years of life, the brain of a child is developing at a pace that is unfathomable during the first 3 years, with 1 million new neural connections each second and with nearly 1,000 trillion connections by age 3.
Yes, you read that correctly.
They need a minimally stressful environment in order to gain the functionality and cognitive ability to deal with real stress when they get older. Having that proper brain development with the mother as the nurturer, the comforter, the provider of nutrition, the soother, and overall calmness, and of so many other benefits, automatically lead to children becoming more confident and testing boundaries as they get older. For some reason however, we have been duped into trying to accelerate the independent and confidence boosting stage in kids right at 6 weeks from birth, causing the exact opposite effect.
Your child needs pampering, before your child becomes a hero.
Your child needs to be babied, before your child becomes a mentor.
Your child needs comfort, before your child gains confidence.
Your child needs to feel their mother’s touch and presence, before your child can help others.
Remember this - Trying to turn your child into an adult early on, will make them a child as an adult later on.
The earlier you start, the better.
The earlier you start something, the quicker you will get better at it.
This is especially true with homeschooling.
When you have just one child, it is very easy to homeschool them, and you can accelerate their learning since the teacher to student ratio is 1:1, and even 2:1 when the father gets involved as well.
You were already homeschooling from birth till 5 years old, so why switch it out to an inferior system that will only corrupt them, especially your girls?
Just like you adjusted your time and priorities when you got married, and again after having your first child, you can adjust once again by homeschooling them.
When child #2 comes along, you can adjust again, and prioritize your time differently.
It is a gradual process and you will notice how much you can actually accomplish.
You will even look back at when you only had one child, and how “busy” you thought you were with just one brain to feed 😅.
If you already have 3 kids that are in public schools, and now decide to start homeschooling them, it can still be done, no doubt about it, but the challenges and initial shock will be much more difficult.
This is what keeps people from even getting started, until it gets far too long in the tooth and the opportunity has passed you by.
The earlier you start something, the quicker you will get better at it.
This is especially true with homeschooling.
When you have just one child, it is very easy to homeschool them, and you can accelerate their learning since the teacher to student ratio is 1:1, and even 2:1 when the father gets involved as well.
You were already homeschooling from birth till 5 years old, so why switch it out to an inferior system that will only corrupt them, especially your girls?
Just like you adjusted your time and priorities when you got married, and again after having your first child, you can adjust once again by homeschooling them.
When child #2 comes along, you can adjust again, and prioritize your time differently.
It is a gradual process and you will notice how much you can actually accomplish.
You will even look back at when you only had one child, and how “busy” you thought you were with just one brain to feed 😅.
If you already have 3 kids that are in public schools, and now decide to start homeschooling them, it can still be done, no doubt about it, but the challenges and initial shock will be much more difficult.
This is what keeps people from even getting started, until it gets far too long in the tooth and the opportunity has passed you by.
An increased love for the Prophet ﷺ through a lived experience.
Recently went on a Muslim Alpha trip with some brothers, and it really gave me a sense of deeper love and respect for not only the Prophet ﷺ and the Sahaba, but also for people who lived before us:
Our parents.
Our grandparents.
Our ancestors.
Life has undoubtedly become more convenient with all its advancements, but at the same time it has made us weaker.
Even just a camping trip for two days taught me so much about how comfortable our day to day lives are, and how people generations before used to live with struggle, day in and day out. It was also a stark reminder that Allah tells us in the Qur’an:
لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ فِى كَبَدٍ ٤
Indeed, We have created mankind in ˹constant˺ struggle.
Surah Balad (90:4)
We are to take our share from this world and enjoy it, but it was never meant to be jannah. Trying to turn this world into jannah is one of the biggest deceptions we see all around us. If you notice the beginning of the ayah when Allah says ( لَقَدْ ), that is a double emphasis, meaning “absolutely without a doubt, We have created mankind in (constant) struggle.”
The Sahaba would be out in the fields tending their crops, tending their animals, and manually having to do all the work. They would travel long distances in brutal conditions with minimal food and drink…and then have to fight the enemy.
Subhan Allah.
This lifestyle naturally gave people more grit, endurance, and strength, and small, petty issues didn't fluster them like our modern, “first world problems” do:
“Oh my God! My dad only bought me an iPhone 18 and not an iPhone 18 Pro!”
“Ughh! What do you mean you ran out of oat milk for my coffee?!”
“Oh man! I missed the cut-off for same-day delivery! Now my 6th pair of shoes will come tomorrow instead!”
What is even more amazing is the residents of Madinah would consider themselves to be the more “soft” and civilized society and they would call the Bedouins rough and harsh! For our purposes, even the civilized, more well-spoken society of Madinah would be harsh for us, and the nomadic, Bedouin lifestyle would be unsustainable.
Making things too easy makes one weak, and doesn’t prepare one for tougher times. Too much convenience becomes a deception, turning minds and bodies into a rotten lump of neurons and flesh that gets wasted away. Just look at the smartphone epidemic and now the increasingly acceptable and rampant drug epidemic where everything is allowed.
How do you combat the bombardment of convenience that is shoved down our throats? You need to exercise your mind, body, and soul. Trying new activities exposes your body to new movements - movements that will exercise muscles you never knew you had. Challenging yourself and taking calculated risks become a recipe for success, because you will have one of two outcomes:
You will succeed
You will learn lessons (what people call “failure”)
The real failure - is not trying at all.
We have to remember that curating difficulty for ourselves, our families, and our communities is a form of love. You do it because you love and care for them. You want them to grow and flourish, but in order to grow and flourish, difficulty is a requirement. A seed can stay small and comfortable inside its shell, or it can go through harshness starting with a crack in its shell, get exposed to the elements, and flourish beyond its constraints, expanding far and wide.
Camping in the woods, bonding and riding on horses, doing archery, sparring with the brothers - all with the intention of reviving the Sunnah, pleasing Allah, and hanging out with righteous company, are all part of growing and maturing. Not only did we push ourselves and worked to revive the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ, we also reminded one another of what our purpose is in this life - to make sure the word of Allah is the highest, and the character of the Prophet ﷺ is followed to the best of our ability.
In order to accomplish this mission, it requires one to be uncomfortable, for it was this discomfort that allowed Islam to spread, and allowed Islam to reach us.
Don’t get too comfortable in this dunya, because remember, your life and my life are a test, and tests are always full of challenges and surprises.
Recently went on a Muslim Alpha trip with some brothers, and it really gave me a sense of deeper love and respect for not only the Prophet ﷺ and the Sahaba, but also for people who lived before us:
Our parents.
Our grandparents.
Our ancestors.
Life has undoubtedly become more convenient with all its advancements, but at the same time it has made us weaker.
Even just a camping trip for two days taught me so much about how comfortable our day to day lives are, and how people generations before used to live with struggle, day in and day out. It was also a stark reminder that Allah tells us in the Qur’an:
لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ فِى كَبَدٍ ٤
Indeed, We have created mankind in ˹constant˺ struggle.
Surah Balad (90:4)
We are to take our share from this world and enjoy it, but it was never meant to be jannah. Trying to turn this world into jannah is one of the biggest deceptions we see all around us. If you notice the beginning of the ayah when Allah says ( لَقَدْ ), that is a double emphasis, meaning “absolutely without a doubt, We have created mankind in (constant) struggle.”
The Sahaba would be out in the fields tending their crops, tending their animals, and manually having to do all the work. They would travel long distances in brutal conditions with minimal food and drink…and then have to fight the enemy.
Subhan Allah.
This lifestyle naturally gave people more grit, endurance, and strength, and small, petty issues didn't fluster them like our modern, “first world problems” do:
“Oh my God! My dad only bought me an iPhone 18 and not an iPhone 18 Pro!”
“Ughh! What do you mean you ran out of oat milk for my coffee?!”
“Oh man! I missed the cut-off for same-day delivery! Now my 6th pair of shoes will come tomorrow instead!”
What is even more amazing is the residents of Madinah would consider themselves to be the more “soft” and civilized society and they would call the Bedouins rough and harsh! For our purposes, even the civilized, more well-spoken society of Madinah would be harsh for us, and the nomadic, Bedouin lifestyle would be unsustainable.
Making things too easy makes one weak, and doesn’t prepare one for tougher times. Too much convenience becomes a deception, turning minds and bodies into a rotten lump of neurons and flesh that gets wasted away. Just look at the smartphone epidemic and now the increasingly acceptable and rampant drug epidemic where everything is allowed.
How do you combat the bombardment of convenience that is shoved down our throats? You need to exercise your mind, body, and soul. Trying new activities exposes your body to new movements - movements that will exercise muscles you never knew you had. Challenging yourself and taking calculated risks become a recipe for success, because you will have one of two outcomes:
You will succeed
You will learn lessons (what people call “failure”)
The real failure - is not trying at all.
We have to remember that curating difficulty for ourselves, our families, and our communities is a form of love. You do it because you love and care for them. You want them to grow and flourish, but in order to grow and flourish, difficulty is a requirement. A seed can stay small and comfortable inside its shell, or it can go through harshness starting with a crack in its shell, get exposed to the elements, and flourish beyond its constraints, expanding far and wide.
Camping in the woods, bonding and riding on horses, doing archery, sparring with the brothers - all with the intention of reviving the Sunnah, pleasing Allah, and hanging out with righteous company, are all part of growing and maturing. Not only did we push ourselves and worked to revive the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ, we also reminded one another of what our purpose is in this life - to make sure the word of Allah is the highest, and the character of the Prophet ﷺ is followed to the best of our ability.
In order to accomplish this mission, it requires one to be uncomfortable, for it was this discomfort that allowed Islam to spread, and allowed Islam to reach us.
Don’t get too comfortable in this dunya, because remember, your life and my life are a test, and tests are always full of challenges and surprises.
Will you have this regret when you are gone?
We have all seemingly missed out on so much.
We didn’t give any importance to cryptocurrency and especially bitcoin, and we were not able to capitalize on it as much as we would have liked, when it was only literally pennies for bitcoin.
How about the housing market? Maybe we were tempted to buy a house with a riba based loan, but we said NO, and now that opportunity to save in cash for a house keeps dwindling away since the prices are out of control. We “missed out” on that opportunity.
We could have bought a car for much cheaper before the pandemic, but now car prices are just ridiculous. We missed out on that opportunity.
There are just so many opportunities that we have seemingly missed out on, but we have to remember one thing:
When we are in our graves, the only opportunity that we will care about at that time is:
Did we miss out on our Islam?
Did we miss out on our religion?
Did we miss out on our real purpose in life?
We as Muslims already have the best thing that no dollar, no house, no bitcoin, no exotic car can buy.
We have la ilaha il Allah.
We have Allah on our side!
We have the truth!
We have guidance to Paradise!
There will be so many people who would have wished they had Islam, crying to the point where they would be willing to sacrifice everyone they know and all the people in the world in order to save themselves.
“To save himself from the torment of that Day, the culprit shall wish to give his children, his wife, his brother, his kinsfolk who gave him shelter, and all the people of the earth, just to save themselves.”
(Surah Ma’arij 70:11-14)
They will be crying with so much regret that they didn’t invest in their REAL life!
They will cry, “I wish I had sent forth ˹something good˺ for my ˹true˺ life.”
(Surah Fajr: 89:24)
Whenever you feel like you’ve missed out on something, or an opportunity has passed you buy, then always remember that you still have the best gift of all.
Islam!
We have all seemingly missed out on so much.
We didn’t give any importance to cryptocurrency and especially bitcoin, and we were not able to capitalize on it as much as we would have liked, when it was only literally pennies for bitcoin.
How about the housing market? Maybe we were tempted to buy a house with a riba based loan, but we said NO, and now that opportunity to save in cash for a house keeps dwindling away since the prices are out of control. We “missed out” on that opportunity.
We could have bought a car for much cheaper before the pandemic, but now car prices are just ridiculous. We missed out on that opportunity.
There are just so many opportunities that we have seemingly missed out on, but we have to remember one thing:
When we are in our graves, the only opportunity that we will care about at that time is:
Did we miss out on our Islam?
Did we miss out on our religion?
Did we miss out on our real purpose in life?
We as Muslims already have the best thing that no dollar, no house, no bitcoin, no exotic car can buy.
We have la ilaha il Allah.
We have Allah on our side!
We have the truth!
We have guidance to Paradise!
There will be so many people who would have wished they had Islam, crying to the point where they would be willing to sacrifice everyone they know and all the people in the world in order to save themselves.
“To save himself from the torment of that Day, the culprit shall wish to give his children, his wife, his brother, his kinsfolk who gave him shelter, and all the people of the earth, just to save themselves.”
(Surah Ma’arij 70:11-14)
They will be crying with so much regret that they didn’t invest in their REAL life!
They will cry, “I wish I had sent forth ˹something good˺ for my ˹true˺ life.”
(Surah Fajr: 89:24)
Whenever you feel like you’ve missed out on something, or an opportunity has passed you buy, then always remember that you still have the best gift of all.
Islam!
AI Child pornography is now OK to possess under certain conditions.
The First Amendment protects an individual’s right to privately possess images or videos of child sexual abuse created using artificial intelligence – if the material does not depict a real person and remains in the home, a federal appeals court judge ruled Tuesday. The decision came in a case that tested the scope of laws implemented before advances in AI made it easy to create realistic-looking fake images of children.
Judge John Z. Lee, in the ruling for a three-judge panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 7th Circuit, urged the Supreme Court to reconsider the issue of virtual abuse material of children in the age of AI, suggesting that technological advances complicate existing legal precedent.
“Given the relentless advancement in artificial intelligence models, we have some concerns about the lines these cases draw, but we are not free to redraw them ourselves,” the judge wrote.
Phew, that was a close one. It’s only CSAM that isn’t real that is allowed.
I’m glad that our morals are still intact…
The First Amendment protects an individual’s right to privately possess images or videos of child sexual abuse created using artificial intelligence – if the material does not depict a real person and remains in the home, a federal appeals court judge ruled Tuesday. The decision came in a case that tested the scope of laws implemented before advances in AI made it easy to create realistic-looking fake images of children.
Judge John Z. Lee, in the ruling for a three-judge panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 7th Circuit, urged the Supreme Court to reconsider the issue of virtual abuse material of children in the age of AI, suggesting that technological advances complicate existing legal precedent.
“Given the relentless advancement in artificial intelligence models, we have some concerns about the lines these cases draw, but we are not free to redraw them ourselves,” the judge wrote.
Phew, that was a close one. It’s only CSAM that isn’t real that is allowed.
I’m glad that our morals are still intact…
Taylor Swift’s sweat.
Did I get your attention with the title?
Good.
About a month ago, I was watching a clip on YouTube, where a lady was asking whether or not it was worth spending $2,500 for Taylor Swift tickets.
These were not front row seats, but they were nosebleed seats, essentially the furthest seats away from Taylor Swift.
You would need binoculars to see her.
The host of the show was outraged that these nosebleed seats cost $2,500.
She said for that kind of money, I want some of the “Swifty sweat” to hit me.
(I need to be so close to her that her sweat hits me in the face.)
That same evening, we reached a point in the Seerah where an incident occurred, and the sahaba were gathering the leftover wudu water of the Prophet ﷺ to use for themselves. This went down a tangent where we discussed how the hair, the sweat, and even the saliva of the Prophet ﷺ was considered blessed.
So blessed to the point that they would take some of the sweat and put it in their perfume.
And it was narrated from Anas that Umm Sulaym used to put out a mat of leather for the Prophet ﷺ and he would take a nap in her house. When the Prophet ﷺ fell asleep, she took some of his sweat and hair and kept it in a bottle, then she put it in some sukk (perfume made of musk). He [Thumaamah ibn ‘Abd-Allah ibn Anas] said: When Anas ibn Maalik was dying, he left instructions that some of the sukk should be put in his hunoot (perfumes used in preparation of dead for burial).
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6281)
The sahaba would take these things and seek blessings from them, and there was nothing weird or wrong about it.
Naturally the kids thought it was kind of strange, but that is because they’re still kids, and don’t understand how the adult mind and body work…
And that is where we as parents have to bridge the gap, educate, and defend.
So what if the Sahaba sought blessings from the Prophet ﷺ’s sweat? This is something unanimously agreed upon, and the Prophet ﷺ himself approved of it.
As we can see from the Taylor Swift example, people seek some sort of “high" or blessings from other people’s bodily fluids to this day.
It sounds strange when you say it like that, but it’s the truth!
The “Swiftie sweat” is just one example, but it can be applied to many celebrities whose teeth, leftover tissues, and even used underwear sold for thousands of dollars. Let’s not forget game-worn jerseys that are worth hundreds if not thousands more than an unused jersey by an athlete.
I remember watching TV shows where during certain episodes, the main character would meet their favorite celebrity and after shaking their hand, they would say:
“I’m never washing this hand again.”
It is because now they have a residual “part” of that celebrity on them, making them feel special. There is a deeper connection with that celebrity just because of their bodily fluids on your body.
Of course no man's sweat or saliva is worth anything today, and the only sweat or saliva that was blessed was that of the Prophet ﷺ.
The point here is to educate yourselves, and to educate those who are under your responsibility. Start there, and continue to educate your communities and in sha Allah, the whole world.
Did I get your attention with the title?
Good.
About a month ago, I was watching a clip on YouTube, where a lady was asking whether or not it was worth spending $2,500 for Taylor Swift tickets.
These were not front row seats, but they were nosebleed seats, essentially the furthest seats away from Taylor Swift.
You would need binoculars to see her.
The host of the show was outraged that these nosebleed seats cost $2,500.
She said for that kind of money, I want some of the “Swifty sweat” to hit me.
(I need to be so close to her that her sweat hits me in the face.)
That same evening, we reached a point in the Seerah where an incident occurred, and the sahaba were gathering the leftover wudu water of the Prophet ﷺ to use for themselves. This went down a tangent where we discussed how the hair, the sweat, and even the saliva of the Prophet ﷺ was considered blessed.
So blessed to the point that they would take some of the sweat and put it in their perfume.
And it was narrated from Anas that Umm Sulaym used to put out a mat of leather for the Prophet ﷺ and he would take a nap in her house. When the Prophet ﷺ fell asleep, she took some of his sweat and hair and kept it in a bottle, then she put it in some sukk (perfume made of musk). He [Thumaamah ibn ‘Abd-Allah ibn Anas] said: When Anas ibn Maalik was dying, he left instructions that some of the sukk should be put in his hunoot (perfumes used in preparation of dead for burial).
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6281)
The sahaba would take these things and seek blessings from them, and there was nothing weird or wrong about it.
Naturally the kids thought it was kind of strange, but that is because they’re still kids, and don’t understand how the adult mind and body work…
And that is where we as parents have to bridge the gap, educate, and defend.
So what if the Sahaba sought blessings from the Prophet ﷺ’s sweat? This is something unanimously agreed upon, and the Prophet ﷺ himself approved of it.
As we can see from the Taylor Swift example, people seek some sort of “high" or blessings from other people’s bodily fluids to this day.
It sounds strange when you say it like that, but it’s the truth!
The “Swiftie sweat” is just one example, but it can be applied to many celebrities whose teeth, leftover tissues, and even used underwear sold for thousands of dollars. Let’s not forget game-worn jerseys that are worth hundreds if not thousands more than an unused jersey by an athlete.
I remember watching TV shows where during certain episodes, the main character would meet their favorite celebrity and after shaking their hand, they would say:
“I’m never washing this hand again.”
It is because now they have a residual “part” of that celebrity on them, making them feel special. There is a deeper connection with that celebrity just because of their bodily fluids on your body.
Of course no man's sweat or saliva is worth anything today, and the only sweat or saliva that was blessed was that of the Prophet ﷺ.
The point here is to educate yourselves, and to educate those who are under your responsibility. Start there, and continue to educate your communities and in sha Allah, the whole world.
How boys and girls think differently about money.
From the archives - original date August 6, 2024.
The other day, my daughter comes up to me, very nonchalantly, and just tells me,
“Papa, I think I lost my money.”
There was no emotion or panic in her tone whatsoever. I was more in shock of how calm she was because I knew she had a decent chunk of change for a 12 year old (about $500 from gifts and Eid money).
So naturally I asked her, “how much money? Do you mean your purse?” Her purse usually has like $20-$40.
I was like there was no way she lost ALL her money.
She replies again in her casual voice, “No. I lost all my money.”
So now I’m a bit concerned and freaking out a bit inside, and we go on a mission to backtrack her steps and search her room, and eventually she finds it fairly quickly.
Once she finds it, it’s just a, “Oh there it is.” and there’s just the tiniest sign of relief on her face.
After this ordeal, I was just taken aback by her attitude and how losing the money didn’t make her freak out. When I thought about it more, it didn't really surprise me.
We have been homeschooling them since the beginning, and we have been teaching them proper Islamic principles, including how a household is run, who is in charge of what, and who brings home the “dough,” and who cooks the dough.
It’s a system that Alhumdulilah works amazingly well, and brings benefit to everyone.
My wife doesn’t have to worry about money, and naturally, my daughter has picked that up from her. Having a lot of money isn’t a priority for my daughter, and being thrifty with money is one of her qualities.
Frankly, it should be a quality for all of us.
Her carelessness with money isn’t spending too much, but just misplacing it in her room 😂.
My son, on the other hand, is the opposite. He is much more meticulous with money, always trying to find ways to earn money, mainly because he tends to spend more money. If he had lost his wad of cash, he would have turned the whole house upside down trying to find it. He would definitely have been in a more panicked state.
The way my son and daughter react emotionally to money is part of their fitra that is inside all of us as Muslims, and something that our house has reinforced:
Men are the providers of the household and have to worry about money and providing, while women are the maintainers of the household and have to worry about caretaking and maintaining. They are different roles for men and women, but in the eyes of Allah, they are noble and equitable positions that can take you to Jannah.
Someone who stays home isn’t a worse person because they take care of the home vs the one who has to go out and work.
If your kids grow up without the influence of social media, and without the influence of anti-Islamic lifestyles that they see all day and are fed through the school systems, they are more likely to grow up on the fitra and you will have to spend less time trying to detox their minds.
You will see the fitra flourish in the actions of your kids, from the obvious to the more subtle, like finances.
From the archives - original date August 6, 2024.
The other day, my daughter comes up to me, very nonchalantly, and just tells me,
“Papa, I think I lost my money.”
There was no emotion or panic in her tone whatsoever. I was more in shock of how calm she was because I knew she had a decent chunk of change for a 12 year old (about $500 from gifts and Eid money).
So naturally I asked her, “how much money? Do you mean your purse?” Her purse usually has like $20-$40.
I was like there was no way she lost ALL her money.
She replies again in her casual voice, “No. I lost all my money.”
So now I’m a bit concerned and freaking out a bit inside, and we go on a mission to backtrack her steps and search her room, and eventually she finds it fairly quickly.
Once she finds it, it’s just a, “Oh there it is.” and there’s just the tiniest sign of relief on her face.
After this ordeal, I was just taken aback by her attitude and how losing the money didn’t make her freak out. When I thought about it more, it didn't really surprise me.
We have been homeschooling them since the beginning, and we have been teaching them proper Islamic principles, including how a household is run, who is in charge of what, and who brings home the “dough,” and who cooks the dough.
It’s a system that Alhumdulilah works amazingly well, and brings benefit to everyone.
My wife doesn’t have to worry about money, and naturally, my daughter has picked that up from her. Having a lot of money isn’t a priority for my daughter, and being thrifty with money is one of her qualities.
Frankly, it should be a quality for all of us.
Her carelessness with money isn’t spending too much, but just misplacing it in her room 😂.
My son, on the other hand, is the opposite. He is much more meticulous with money, always trying to find ways to earn money, mainly because he tends to spend more money. If he had lost his wad of cash, he would have turned the whole house upside down trying to find it. He would definitely have been in a more panicked state.
The way my son and daughter react emotionally to money is part of their fitra that is inside all of us as Muslims, and something that our house has reinforced:
Men are the providers of the household and have to worry about money and providing, while women are the maintainers of the household and have to worry about caretaking and maintaining. They are different roles for men and women, but in the eyes of Allah, they are noble and equitable positions that can take you to Jannah.
Someone who stays home isn’t a worse person because they take care of the home vs the one who has to go out and work.
If your kids grow up without the influence of social media, and without the influence of anti-Islamic lifestyles that they see all day and are fed through the school systems, they are more likely to grow up on the fitra and you will have to spend less time trying to detox their minds.
You will see the fitra flourish in the actions of your kids, from the obvious to the more subtle, like finances.