Abu Umamah reported:

A young man came to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, give me permission to commit adultery.”

The people turned to rebuke him, saying, “Quiet! Quiet!”

The Prophet said, “Come here.” The young man came close and he told him to sit down.

The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your mother?”

The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.”

The Prophet said, “Neither would people like it for their mothers. Would you like that for your daughter?”

The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.”

The Prophet said, “Neither would people like it for their daughters. Would you like that for your sister?”

The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.”

The Prophet said, “Neither would people like it for their sisters. Would you like that for your aunts?”

The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.”

The Prophet said, “Neither would people like it for their aunts.”

Then, the Prophet placed his hand on him and he said, “O Allah, forgive his sins, purify his heart, and guard his chastity.” After that, the young man never again inclined to anything sinful.

Source: Musnad Ahmad 22211

This Hadith reminds me of a different scenario that can be played out today by many cultural Muslim families - a scenario that doesn’t end well.

It would go something like this:

A young man asks an Imam to make pornography halal. “Oh Imam, make it halal for me!”

The Imam replies, “Would you like it for your mother to be displayed online and people gawk at her and achieve pleasure through her?” he would reply, “but my mother already posts her pictures online without hijab and everyone can see her. Actually, some old uncles even complement on her appearance and say “masha Allah,” and with the different AI programs out there, people can even nudify her in an instant. Every time she goes to a dinner party or a wedding, she wears see-through sleeves, no hijab, and tons of makeup.”

Now the Imam is troubled - “Oh…uh…OK, but would you want that for your sister?”

The man replies,

“Oh Imam, my sister is on Instagram and swaying and twirling for all to see. Yes, she has clothes on, but she’s wearing full makeup and everyone can see her, and once again the AI programs can nudify her video as well, so if everyone is indulging and it is rampant, why is it wrong for me to watch pornography?

If the sisters get a pass, why can’t I? Actually, my father also poses with my sisters online while they’re all dolled up and inappropriately dressed, and he’s proud of showing them off.”

The Imam is stunned and flabbergasted.

OK, OK, in this scenario I will admit, I am being a bit unrealistic…

In reality, the young man would never go to the Imam and ask to make pornography halal because from the behavior he sees in the women (and “men”) in his own family, he is already given the license to indulge in pornography.

Wall Street Journal (gift link):

Shoshana Rubli was shocked by her therapist’s advice, given in her second session. But the counselor was recommended by someone she knew and had impressive credentials, so she did as she was told. 

She cut off all ties with her mother.

“It was an argument made from authority, so I followed it,” says the 42-year-old freelance marketer.

Is it really good therapy to break your mother’s heart? […]

Most therapists agree that sometimes people are justified in breaking ties with their parents or a close relative, especially if they were physically or emotionally abusive. 

What’s changing now is the bar for what is deemed abusive enough for a cutoff. “We are in a culture where we emphasize fragility, everything becomes trauma, and the solution increasingly is to split and leave,” says William Doherty, a therapist and professor emeritus of family social science at the University of Minnesota who has researched the ways that therapy may be harmful. “But it should be the tragic exception that you cut off a parent or loved one, not business as usual in therapy.”

About 25% of the U.S. population is estranged from, or has cut ties with, a close relative at any given time—and 10% is estranged from a parent or child—according to research by Karl Pillemer, a family sociologist and professor of human development at Cornell. He believes that more rifts are likely, as tensions over politics and social issues continue to rise.

Only in the second session, a therapist was able to make such an insane recommendation. Now imagine public schools that start giving your children therapy?

A worthy read with a happy ending, but how many people end up not reconciling and in tragic loneliness?

I came across this article after giving my khutbah this past Friday, where I stated:

And to compound the distancing between children and parents, schools now offer therapy, right? Because you give them the problem, the social media, and now you also got to give them, and now you have to sell them the solution too, which is therapy.

And do you think this therapy is gonna be based on Islamic principles? No. What happens is, and a lot of the times in these therapy sessions, in schools, without your knowledge even, they have patient confidentiality, right?

They can't even tell you what they discuss, because it's their right, as a child or whatever, that they don't have to tell you about these things. And even in some cases, believe this or not, if you are, and this is considered therapy, right? If you're an immigrant, child, and you go to school and you learn English pretty good, right?

And then your parents, they came from another country to provide you with a better life. They might need help with some paperwork or going to the doctor and translating something. That, believe it or not, is considered trauma.

Your parents have traumatized you, and they have wronged you because you have to help them and do all these extra things, and actually maybe struggle a little bit, and, but in reality, you're doing khayr for your family. You're learning skills, you're learning life, but that's trauma. So now, all of this is going into our kids.

You can read more about this phenomenon in children in Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up. (Affiliate link)

A transcript of the Friday Khutbah I gave yesterday after tweaking the Arabic anomalies from my iPhone’s Voice Memos. I did buy a DJI Mic Mini, but I couldn’t get it to work on the spot, so the audio came straight out of the iPhone Air. I was impressed my hand didn’t muffle the sound and was glad it was usable Alhumdulilah.

YouTube link.

Khutbah transcript 7/24/26

Allah , says in Surah Ali Imran, verse 100.

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ إِن تُطِيعُوا۟ فَرِيقًۭا مِّنَ ٱلَّذِينَ أُوتُوا۟ ٱلْكِتَـٰبَ يَرُدُّوكُم بَعْدَ إِيمَـٰنِكُمْ كَـٰفِرِينَ ١٠٠

Oh, you who have believed, if you obey, a party of those who were given the scripture, they would surely turn you back after your belief into disbelievers.

So now, brothers and sisters, brothers and sisters, I want to give you a scenario.

A scenario where a woman, she comes home, or she calls her family, and she tells her family, mom, dad, I found someone.

I'm in love, and we're gonna get married. And he is a Muslim. So what's the 1st reaction from these parents?

What if I told you that reaction was, Alhamdulillah? Right? All praises to Allah, because she found she found somebody and he's a Muslim.

Now, you might be wondering why I'm saying this thing, right? Doesn't even make any sense. But let me give you the story.

So that was the end of the movie, quote unquote. I'm going to tell you how this happens. First and foremost, we have to realize what the Prophet ﷺ, he said, you will surely follow the path of those before you, step by step, inch by inch, and if they enter the hole of a lizard, you would follow them as well.

And then the Sahaba said, ya Rasulullah, do you mean the Jews and the Christians? And then the Prophet ﷺ responded, who else? Yes, of course the Jews and the Christians.

So now let's go all the way back. Let's go all the way back to the birth of the child. Okay?

The child is born. And because there's a dual income family, both parents are working, within a few weeks, the child enters what's known as the daycare system. They go in the daycare system, and what happens is, it actually causes psychological damage to the child over the course of several years.

And this is proven with studies, and you can look this up yourself. And even some of the most liberal scholars out there of Islam who basically have allowed everything to be okay, even they say that putting your child in the daycare system is like a jail. And why is that because when a child is born, within the 1st 3 years, we think they're just a baby and they're just sitting around doing nothing, but there's a lot going on in their brains.

They're developing, they're learning literally everything from scratch. They don't know anything. They're learning how to speak, who is who, what everything is that they see, how to react, all of these things, they're learning from scratch.

They have no basis at this point. And by the time they're 3 years old, they have, and I look this up, and I double checked it, they have over 1,000 trillion neuron connections in their brain. So that's Subhan Allah a lot, and that's almost double, or more than double, that of an, adult.

And then what happens after that phase, when they're three years old, then is the pruning phase. So what is the pruning phase? That's when, if you know what a bonsai tree is, those fancy little trees, and every once in a while, you have to cut off the branches. to make it look okay.

So now the child, what they do is they strengthen the connections in their brain of what they are familiar with, and those connections in their brain that are weak, they cut those off, and they focus on strengthening those connections that are stronger.

Now when a child is in daycare, they don't know who their parent is. From a psychological perspective, from their point of view, they don't know who their parent is, because they know who their parent is, but they're not there.

So there's a lot of stress on the baby in these daycares, and there's a lot of crying, because the person who they thought was their mother is not there.

And every day, there's a new person trying to take care of them. So they think this person is their mother, they try to bond with them, but then the next day it's somebody else.

And then the next day, it's somebody else, and then the next day, and so on and so forth. And this goes on for, this could go on for several years before the kid enters what? preschool and so on and so forth.

So now this child's brain never really got a strong connection with their parents from the very beginning, and we can't see that, we can't feel that, but it's there. Right? It's starting to, um, fester.

So then what happens when the kid gets older? And also just remember, the parents themselves are also used to not being with the kid all the time, and they're only used to being with them for several hours in the day while they're awake. Maybe three or four hours.

The rest of the time, the kids either asleep, or once again at the daycare system. So then what happens when the child becomes two or four or five years old? What ends up happening is the child has behavioral issues, because they have trouble processing situations, and they end up having to keep things simple, they have behavioral issues, and what do the parents do at this point?

Because they don't know what to do. So what do they do? Here, take this, take this.

Right? Here, take the phone, and just scroll and watch whatever you want to watch, because I don't know what's wrong. I can't I can't, you know, deal with this.

So now the kid is given a cell phone, and once again, if you look at the news and the studies, the way the brain reacts to a screen and is constantly on it, it's like a drug addiction. And then when you take the phone away from that person, they become violent.

And this is a common scenario, unfortunately, with a lot of kids, where the parents are, they get anxious when it's time to stop the screen, because the kids quite literally lose their minds.

So you can see the disconnect is already there, and it's growing. And as the kid goes into school, What are they, they hang out more with their peers.

They hang out more with people that are their age. And maybe some of those kids are going through the same cycle as your kid, may protect our kids, are going through.

And then what happens is, their influence becomes their peers, meaning they don't care what the parents think anymore.

And they start to care more about what their peers think, because they're always hanging around with their friends. And that is what matters. And then, at the same time, they're in a public school system, where they don't teach about Allah subhana wata’aalah and how He's created everything.

It's mother nature. Right? It's mother nature that has created all the mountains and the beautiful nature that we see.

That's what they learn. And also, it's not that Allah created humans in the best of creation as the best of creation. No, you evolved from giant apes, right?

We evolved from giant apes. That's what they're taught. And then, once again, if some child, if Allah is trying to give these children a signal, right?

A sign, like Allah says, we have given you so many signs. If you just look at nature and you look at everything,

And now what's the new trend? Oh, the universe spoke to me!

Right? The universe spoke to me, and said, you know, I should do this, or I should do that. It's not Allah subhana wata’aalah, it's the universe. Everything that they can find that isn't Allah or God, they will try to put in there instead as a filler. And then, of course, there's all the other things, right?

There's going to the prom, there's going to dances, there's going to, there's music, and there's, there's drugs in school as well now. Now, you can get vapes that look like markers or AirPods, and you can just, you know, quickly grab it… Put it away, and nobody knows.

The teacher might be like, Oh look at him, he's thinking hard, you know? He's got his pen to his mouth. like, thinking about the problem. No, he's smoking.

That's what he's doing. He's not thinking. All right, so now, if it wasn't bad enough, now the children go to high school.

And they're old enough to be mature, quote unquote, right? They're old enough to be mature, and the kids want a cell phone. If they already haven't gotten a cell phone, maybe now they're getting a cell phone.

And now they're going into that black hole. What's that black hole?

Social media.

Social media.

The scrolling doesn't end, and the entertainment is constant. And not only that, and once again, if you look at the news today, Europe and France even, France, right?

“The most moral country” that we can think of, even they want to ban social media for 15 and under. They want to ban it for only 15 and under because it causes anxiety and depression and this and that. But, of course, from our perspective, it's anxiety and depression, and much worse, right?

It's causing children to basically leave Islam. And the anxiety and the depression caused by social media hits our girls the most because and once again, the statistics are there. Who ends up in the hospital more often due to suicide, risk, and all of that?

It's women, because, on social media, they're expected to perform. They're expected to have a presence and do things. And this is where if there is decency left inside of our children, inside of the Muslim children.

Once again, step by step, inch by inch, right? The Prophet ﷺ  all of them didn't say that we're gonna follow them in giant leaps. Because if we do a giant leap, We're gonna be like, wait, something's wrong here.

We can't this is a huge jump. How do we get from here or there? No, it's inch by inch.

So you're moving just a little bit, right? And you don't notice it. You don't notice it.

And we see this in common trends today. And I'm sorry to pick on the sisters, but I will pick on their brothers one day. Don’t worry.

So, the attire of a woman, right, is fully loose clothing and covering the head and so on and so forth, right? Now, okay, you know what? And this is part of the nature of a woman.

She likes to show, as Allah says in the Quran, that's why Allah told the woman to cover themselves, not because men are looking, but because they like to show, so they need to cover themselves. That's their test. Our test is, yeah, we do like to look.

Men do like to look. So Allah did tell us to lower our gaze, but he didn't say sisters cover up because men are looking at you. No, he said, cover up because I know you like to show yourselves, but this is your test.

So now we have the full proper hijab. What's the next step? The next step is, oh, you know, let me just put a little bit of a waistband around my waist, just a little bit of, you know, silhouette is there.

It's fine. You know, I'm still wearing a job and this and that, no big deal. And then the next step is, uh, pants and shirts that are that are tight fitting.

Oh, you know, it's okay. I still have one that has scarf, you know, I have the hijabs, you know, everything's fine. And then what happens then?

Then the hijab tutorials come online, right? The hijabi tutorials and all this stuff, and the makeup, and just to remember, the point of hijab is to conceal your beauty, and now they're telling you how to accentuate your booty, with hijab on, complete opposite.

“Oh, okay, I can show a little bit of hair in this style, But I'm still wearing the hijab. You know, everything's fine. No big deal.”

“Oh, you know, I'm still wearing the hijab, but so what if I have earrings on? It's okay. I'll wear this new turban hijab.”

I got the earrings. I got some hair. It's fine, all good, you know.

And then eventually, it's all gone. It's gone. And I was born and raised here, so, and in my 40 plus years, I've seen the cycle multiple times, and it doesn't matter how practicing a Muslim family might be.

This can happen to anybody. May Allah protect us. And now, remember the cycle:

We left our kids to others to take care of them. We told them, We're told, don't sleep next to your baby. Put them in a separate bedroom, right?

Even in the house, they want you to separate, right?

All of these little things, if you study, psychology and sociology, you learn that actually the Islamic way is what people are actually going back to. But that's not gonna be on the news, you know?

What they're going to show on the news is, they will show you proper hijab, but it'll be under the headline of, this woman is being oppressed. Right?

Maybe she's 15 years old and she was forced into marriage.

And that is true oppression, right? If someone is forced into marriage, we know in Islam that's not correct. But why throw the lady with hijab with that headline?

Because they want that people they want people to see that as oppression.

And then what's freedom, freedom is when you see the 1st Muslim, uh, pro athlete weightlifter, right? She's got tight shorts on and tight sleeves, but she's got a head scarf that's super tight and she's like squatting and doing all of this, but you can see everything.

But that's freedom. That is, that is what our kids are seeing. And then these things are on social media, too.

And they're constantly getting this message back and forth, back and forth.

And to compound the distancing between children and parents, schools now offer therapy, right? Because you give them the problem, the social media, and now you also got to give them, and now you have to sell them the solution too, which is therapy.

And do you think this therapy is gonna be based on Islamic principles? No. What happens is, and a lot of the times in these therapy sessions, in schools, without your knowledge even, they have patient confidentiality, right?

They can't even tell you what they discuss, because it's their right, as a child or whatever, that they don't have to tell you about these things. And even in some cases, believe this or not, if you are, and this is considered therapy, right? If you're an immigrant, child, and you go to school and you learn English pretty good, right?

And then your parents, they came from another country to provide you with a better life. They might need help with some paperwork or going to the doctor and translating something. That, believe it or not, is considered trauma.

Your parents have traumatized you, and they have wronged you because you have to help them and do all these extra things, and actually maybe struggle a little bit, and, but in reality, you're doing khayr for your family. You're learning skills, you're learning life, but that's trauma. So now, all of this is going into our kids.

And then when it's time to go to college, they're not going to want to stay local. They're gonna want to go away because everyone else is going away, right? Remember, they care about what their friends think more than what they what you think, unfortunately.

So, their friends are going away, and you can't just stay here. You also got to travel. You gotta go on those long trips, this and that, have fun.

And what kind of fun are we having, unfortunately? It's not Halal. I'll tell you that much.

They're not going to a cafe and drinking chai, and then going back home. No, they're doing, and this is not just girls, but this is also for boys. But I'm just... trying to, I will in sha Allah, I'll tell you why I'm saying what I'm saying in a few minutes.

And I've seen it, brothers and sisters, this isn't, this isn't shocking to me anymore. This might be shocking to some of you, but this isn't shocking to me, because I've seen it over and over again, where people have families of boys and girls, and they all go off. It's almost like a science experiment.

They all go off to college. The boys are able to stay on their religion.

But the girls, for some reason or another, they fall off the path big time, big time.

And this is not something that is against women. This is just the normal way Allah created man and woman. He created us differently, and there's a reason why men are the leaders, and they're supposed to go out and hunt, right?

Hunt, make for the family and provide, and the women should, to their best of their ability, stay in their homes and raise the family. And the Prophet ﷺ, he said, when the Dajjal will come, which is the biggest trial, when the Dajjal will come, the Prophet ﷺ, he said, most of those who go out to the Dajjal will be women, to the extent that a man goes back to his wife, his mother, his daughter, his sister, and his aunt, to shackle them tightly, fearing they would go out to him.

Now, if we heard, if we heard that somebody, for example, tied up their family at home, that would be abuse, right?

And that, if you just heard those words, oh, this guy, he tied his family into the tree or whatever, and his woman can't leave. If it was the time of the Dajjal, right? And someone did that, because it's real.

What's gonna happen?

Are the people going to agree with him, or are they going to say, this guy's crazy? What are you doing?

So now, the story continues, right? So now, this woman, she's out. She's getting her education.

She's living alone, she's having fun, she's getting more education, having more fun. And then she's used to this. She's got a routine now, right?

Every day, I gotta do this thing, I gotta do that thing. Everything is timed perfectly. And she's perfectly fine living by herself.

And then, when the time eventually comes to get married, because the fitra of a human being will always come out at some point or another. And the fitra of a woman is that they will have this phenomenon. Once again, you can look this up yourselves.

It's where a woman longs to have a child, right? Because her time is running out. Now she's in her 30s.

Her time is running out, and she wants a child. So now she's trying to find somebody. She ends up finding, you know, now, does she want to marry a decent Muslim guy?

I mean, well, if the guy is even half decent and he wants certain standards from her where, you know, she wants to stay home, she wants to provide, she wants to maintain the house, right? Take care of the home. She probably wouldn't want to marry such a man, because she's so used to being out and about, and she doesn't want anyone to, quote unquote, have any authority over her.

So then what does she do? She, she decides to marry, or basically, be in a relationship with a man who's not a Muslim. Right?

And because that man doesn't care what she does, let's be real, right? He doesn't care what she does. He might even encourage it.

Right? Audhubillah.

So what happens to her? Her lineage ends with her.

Her Islam and her family tree ends right there.

And now we get back to the story and the end of the story.

And now, the parents are at home, it's been years, you know, they talk over the phone.

It's a long distance relationship with the parents, right?

And what happens is eventually she calls home, and she's a mom, dad, you know, I found somebody, and he's a Muslim. Now the parent says, Alhamdulillah, remember?

That's how it started. And this is how it ends. You can see why the parents said, Alhamdulillah, because if we look at the hierarchy of, if we were to have categories of Muslims, right, just at a basic level, you have practicing Muslims, you have Friday Muslims, you have Eid Muslims, you have cultural Muslims who just say Islam is in my heart.

You know, I love Allah in His Messenger, but, you know, you know, this salat thing, you know, it's okay. I love a lot. You know, that's all that matters.

And so that guy, by the scholarly definition, wouldn't even be considered a Muslim? That's not what I'm saying. That's what the scholars would say.

So you have Practicing, Friday Muslim, Eid Muslim, cultural Muslim, where Islam is in the heart, and then you have the non-Muslim. at that point. So now this girl is at what? She's probably in that cultural stage.

And she married someone. He's a token Muslim, by the way, meaning he doesn't know anything about Islam, but he fits the criteria so that everything can be okay. Because it all, it all, it's all about what the people think, man.

We have to make sure the people know that everything is good. He Muslim, he's Muslim, okay, let's do the marriage. Everyone's happy, because we just got to make sure everyone, because what will the people think if she's, if she's not a Muslim?

Right? We're so concerned about what other people think that we're willing to follow this whole path. And now, he is a cultural Muslim.

She's a cultural Muslim. Is there some hope? Yes, there's always hope, right?

And may, Allah rectify our affairs, every single one of us, right? May Allah rectify our affairs, our families affairs, and the affairs of the Ummah. And this can keep, so, two cultural Muslims, there's a chance, right, that they can go back up the hill.

They can go back up the tree. They can be Eid Muslims, Friday Muslims, come regularly (to the masjid), and then 2 other categories that I didn't mention are, there's the scholars, and then there's the Prophet ﷺ. And he's the gold standard.

That's where that is our goal for everyone, is to get to this level, even though we might not achieve it, we need to go up that hill. And unfortunately, the trend is going downhill.

أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ وَلِسَائِرِ الْمُسْلِمِينَ ، فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ.

(I say these words of mine and I seek forgiveness from Allah for myself and for you and for all the Muslims for every sin. So seek His forgiveness; indeed, He is the Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful.)

Now, this movie, brothers and sisters has a part two. The credits roll, the credits roll, and after the credits, what happens is usually a little teaser for the next movie, right?

So now this girl gets married, she's a cultural Muslim.

She's married to a cultural man. Same cycle, right? The same cycle.

Two-income household, and that same cycle that I just went over, right? Exactly the same thing happens. And now the teaser scene shows.

Now, she is the mother now. With her kid somewhere, right? Her daughter calls her.

Hi mom. I just found somebody, and we're gonna get married. But don't worry.

She's a Muslim.

Now, you might be wondering why I'm focusing on sister so much, right? It's not just me that focuses on the sisters.

This is exactly what the people who colonize our lands, they focused on. I did a little bit of research into the French and how they conquered Algeria, or how they tried to conquer Algeria. And this was some of the things that they would say.

And I'm going to quote you this.

“If we wish to strike at Algerian society in its structure and its capacity for resistance, we must, first of all, conquer the women. We must go and seek them out, hidden behind the veil, and in the houses where the men conceal them.

To convert women, to win them over to foreign values, and to tear them away from their personal status is to gain a real power over the men, and at the same time, to possess the practical and effective means to dismantle Algerian culture.”

Now take that same phrase, and instead of Algerian culture, make it Islam. And it's the same idea.

And then they continue:

“The Muslim woman loves children. As the guardian of moral values.

As the guardian of moral values, she raises them in the ancestral traditions. The legends and myths. What are these legends and myths?

Allah said that that's what they will call the Quran in the Quran:

The Defrauding (83:13)

إِذَا تُتْلَىٰ عَلَيْهِ ءَايَـٰتُنَا قَالَ أَسَـٰطِيرُ ٱلْأَوَّلِينَ ١٣

When Our verses are recited to him, he says, "Legends of the former peoples."

Allah said when they are heard, if they hear the verses of the Quran, they will say, oh, these are the ancient tales. And that's exactly what they were saying. “She constitutes the bedrock of the family cell, the dynamic element of tribal life.”

So once again, brothers and sisters, you will sure, the Prophet ﷺ, he said, you will surely follow the path of those before you, step by step, inch by inch. If they entered a lizard hole, you would follow.

And once again, I've seen this same scenario, 20 years or 15 years ago or so, when I was working with somebody, Christian guy, devout Christian.

And I swear by Allah, he said something along these lines, very close. I don’t have the exact words, but the concept is the same.

He said, “Look, I told my daughter I don't care what she does, but as long as she doesn't get pregnant, that's fine. Because, because we have morals in our family.”

Subhan Allah.

I'm sorry I'm laughing, but that's what it's become. And unfortunately, we're also going down that exact same rabbit hole. Now, it's very hard to have control over every single second of our child's life.

That's for sure. But and as we put our child into these institutions, what we must realize is that our institution, we all have an institution, and that is our homes. Our homes are an institution, and it should be an institution of peace and tranquility.

And the way to establish that in the best way possible is to have compatibility between the husband and the wife. And compatibility doesn't mean that you like the same things. No, compatibility means, once again, this is the research.

Compatibility means that one person is able to cover the faults of the other person. So if one person is strong and these qualities, as a provider, as one who goes out there and who earns, and he's strong and he can protect and provide the family and be in charge, then the other person needs to reciprocate that and maintain what the household is. And this is what Islam tells us to do.

If both people are, continuing the soccer references, if both people are trying to score goals, the net is left empty, and everyone can kick goals right in without any problem.

And those goals are attacking your children and our children, and the Ummah at large.